Tips To Understand Your Partner Better
Married life is not always easy. In the midst of daily tasks and routines, it is common for communication to start to fail and some frictions arise. However, the situation can improve if there is a genuine will on both sides. In this article, we’ll share some tips to better understand your partner.
Our partner is the person we spend time with the most. He is the person who knows us best and who reflects us most clearly. However, during certain periods of coexistence, fights seem to increase for no apparent reason. But actually, this is because both have disconnected and no longer understand each other.
To understand your partner, understand the disconnect
You always got along great with your partner, you share likes, hobbies and sense of humor. However, one day you find yourself arguing endlessly with your partner over the simplest things. You don’t remember when this dynamic started or why it came to it, but you know you want it to end.
Do not worry. Social relations are moving phenomena that feed back into each other. When communication is positive, there is an exchange of gratifications between the two people that keeps them going.
Likewise, when communication starts to be negative, we enter, almost without realizing it, into a dynamic of censorship and bad behavior.
The inertia makes the communicative style that is taking place to continue and increase. But why do we start with this negative dynamic?
Often simply because we are immersed in our daily concerns and tasks. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by work, children, household chores… and we take our stress out on the person closest to us.
Tips to better understand your partner
Expand the point of view
We all generally fall into the error of thinking that our way of looking at things is correct. Based on our own interpretations of reality, we expect our partner to behave in a certain way. We generate expectations about what he should do or say, and when they aren’t met, we get frustrated.
Let’s try to remember that each person is unique and that what may be obvious to you may not be obvious to your partner. It is important that we work with flexible thinking and be able to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. We should not assume our spouse’s intentions, but give it a chance before judging.
Respect
If we want to have a harmonious and pleasant relationship, respect must be a fundamental pillar. It is not acceptable to harm the other physically or verbally in any way. It is also not appropriate to speak offensive or demeaning words. Above all, it is our partner and, even in the most difficult situations, we must treat each other with respect and affection.
A respectful attitude makes it easier for the other person to open up to us, thus sharing their concerns and feelings without fear of being reprimanded or rejected. The couple must be a safe place, where both feel welcome.
If there is no respect, it will be much more difficult to share intimate thoughts and deep reflections. And without knowing each other, it is not possible for us to understand each other.
assertiveness
Assertiveness is a very valuable tool, as it helps us not only deliver a message, but also make sure the other person understood what we wanted to say. When we don’t use the proper way of speaking, our message can be misinterpreted. A sincere request to spend more time together can seem like a rebuke to the other person, and communication stops flowing.
We must learn to express ourselves clearly and maturely. And, also, trying to convey how we feel and what we want, without judging or disapproving the other. This is a much more effective way to reach agreements.
In this way, we will give the other person space to explain their point of view and, thus, it will be possible to reach a better understanding.
In short, if you want to understand your partner better, you need to give him space to express his own points of view. You must respect their preferences and opinions and try to reach respectful agreements. Once the positive dynamic starts, it will be much easier to continue with it.
