The Importance Of Parental Emotional Availability
When we talk about parents’ emotional availability, we are referring to their ability to interpret their child’s feelings. It’s not just about physical issues like hunger or pain, but being empathetic to see beyond.
We live in a world in which many things are neglected. The constant stimuli we receive from electronic devices – which bring us closer to what is distant, but distance us from the immediate – have reduced our ability to observe.
Unfortunately, children are often victims of this change in habits. This is because the emotional availability of parents is not always what it should be.
Therefore, your typical problems and conflicts at each stage end up being overshadowed. We’ll delve deeper into these issues below.
Why is parents’ emotional availability less?
The absence or lack of emotional availability of the parents can be caused by several reasons. One of them, perhaps the most important, has to do with parenting skills. This is the inability of parents to care for their children; it can occur due to mental health problems, traumas, addictions or cases of depression.
Another important factor is the degree of bonding between the parents and the child. If parents have a negative idea of the baby, for whatever reason, they will hardly be able to empathize with it.
Something that must be considered is that emotional availability does not depend on the family’s social class. It was detected in both low-income and wealthier families.
Finally, the child’s characteristics must also be considered. Parents of children with the following conditions may have difficulty understanding their children:
- Low birth weight or premature birth due to exposure to toxic substances such as alcohol.
- Suffering from any health problem.
- Difficult temperament, whatever its origin.
Effects of parents’ lack of emotional availability
In the 2005 Minnesota Longitudinal Study, the consequences of different types of child abuse were analyzed. In the thirty years that the research lasted, it was concluded that the lack of emotional availability of the parents was the main cause of the following problems:
- Severe depression.
- Suicidal behavior.
- Criminal Incidence.
This aspect is so important that it was placed above other ill-treatment considered more serious, such as abuse or physical violence.
For young children, feeling unprotected creates constant stress that is very damaging to the brain. Thus, they lose the ability to focus on their full development, as it should. As a result, learning difficulties and language-related problems may appear.
Furthermore, later on this can seriously impact your self-esteem, your confidence and, what is even worse, it can lead to abusive behavior towards others. Likewise, these young people are expected to reproduce this precarious educational method when they reach adulthood.
What does parental emotional availability consist of?
If you want to give your child the emotional attention he deserves, follow these instructions:
- Pay attention to your signals and always try to welcome and give an appropriate response.
- Stop what you are doing to resolve problems and offer solutions.
- Keep up with him, but also respect his autonomy and privacy.
- Control your negative emotions. Instead of showing anger or anger, try to be understanding and seek peaceful solutions.
Other solutions
In addition to the inevitable change in attitude that must take place in the home, there are also other instances to resolve – at least partially – the negative effects of this problem.
The first is professional consultation; it can occur at home or in a medical center. Likewise, the participation of the educator in the school can be of great help, since he is one of the references of children in childhood.
Finally, it is also possible to take parental counseling courses. In them, parents are taught to interact, interpret and respond to their children’s signals; strategies and other tools are also provided to facilitate these positive dynamics.
One way or another, it is absolutely necessary that the parents’ emotional availability be what their children deserve. Otherwise, there could be a major maladjustment in your mental stability, which would hamper your long-term development.
