Sibling Influence In Adolescence

Adolescence is a complicated phase and, therefore, it can have consequences on the relationship between siblings.

The influence siblings have on adolescence is indisputable. It is evident that this is a phase of change. At that moment, the family is in the background, while the social group becomes the most important reference.

Because of this, it is common for the relationship between siblings to deteriorate. The one who was once your life partner can now become a nuisance or a complete stranger. We can conclude that the relationship we help establish between siblings will influence the relationship throughout this phase.

A sibling is someone you grew up with, who you were born with, or even helped to raise. Because of this, parents repeat to their children that siblings should be best friends, that they will be together for the rest of their lives, and that they will be unconditional.

What influences the relationship between siblings in adolescence?

• Each child’s personality will help or hinder the establishment of a good relationship.
• The age difference between them. In this sense, the greater the difference, the smaller the number of shared experiences and, therefore, there will be less union.
• The education and treatment – subjective or not – received from parents. If the teenager felt that his brother received preferential treatment, he may hold a grudge. In this way, this can translate into a relationship marked by rivalry.
• The interests of both. The more hobbies and tastes they share, the greater the possibility that a good union will be established between them.

Adolescence and brain maturation

During this phase, what is known as neural pruning takes place. In fact, from approximately 12 to 20 years of age, the brain is in the process of maturation. This process is marked by the improvement of cognitive skills and self-regulation, in such a way that learning through personal experience becomes necessary.

To achieve this, the brain undergoes morphological and functional changes, through the destruction, creation and reorganization of neuronal connections.

looking for its own identity

To the brain restructuring that occurs in adolescence, we must add:

• The physical and hormonal changes.
• The influence that the social context can have on the teenager.

• The search for meaning and identity.
• Exposure to new social situations that must be resolved on their own.

All this confluence of factors gives rise to emotional changes, which are sometimes difficult to understand and manage, both for the teenager and for those closest to him. Undoubtedly, this results in an irremediable separation from the family and, consequently, in a change in the relationship between the siblings.

Thus, the one who has always been your accomplice and playmate can now become a stressor, capable of provoking your anger, your teasing or your indifference. This will make the other sibling (usually in an earlier evolutionary phase) to notice the absence of your reference, showing despondency and sadness.

How to help establish a good relationship between siblings in adolescence?

The best recipe for a good relationship between siblings in adolescence starts from birth. Therefore, we must make sure that we have a democratic or respectful educational style, without differences between the brothers. In it, children will participate, as far as possible, in decisions that affect them.

Once this base is defined, some tips we can follow are:

• Encourage the teenager to share some of their time with their sibling, for example. As long as this doesn’t have a negative impact on his own activities, he can join you for some extracurricular activities or take care of him when we’re not around.
• Make our son see what he means to his brother. Above all, we will prevent him from seeing you as a rival and encourage fraternal union.

• Remind them that small changes in their child’s treatment can improve their relationship.

• Do not make comparisons between siblings. The most important thing is not to show preferential treatment by any of them.
• Teach him to solve problems in such a way that we will be available for his demands and we will respect his decisions. However, we will set limits where necessary.
• Explain to both of them what adolescence means: the transition from childhood to adulthood, and all that that implies.