Raise Children Without Pride But Full Of Self-respect
Raising a child emotionally is a great responsibility. It’s more complicated than teaching her how to use a fork or putting on her shoes, as it involves helping her understand and control her emotions. The line between pride and self-esteem is thin and sometimes blurred, but it is important to make the difference between the two concepts clear.
When we try to instill values in our children, we often focus on reminding them to be polite, kind, and considerate to others. We teach how to develop empathy, ask for forgiveness and do favors. But often, we forget to help you develop this love and these habits with yourself first.
Later, when a colleague tries to take advantage of them or we feel that they get too carried away by other people’s opinions, we urge them to “defend” themselves, asking them to be more proud. But in this way, we convey to them a wrong attitude.
Differences between pride and self-love
action or reaction
Pride makes us react automatically and impulsively to what the other does or says. Therefore, a proud child is likely to be responsive, defiant, and lacking in thinking ability.
She will have learned to jump like a spring when she doesn’t like another person’s behavior. And even if our intention is for her to learn to defend herself at school, she is likely to behave the same way at home.
In turn, self-love allows us to act more calmly and with greater awareness of what we are doing. It allows us to reflect and choose the most suitable answer. In the face of an offense, a child with self-respect does not react by attacking or insulting. On the contrary, she will be able to reflect that it is more convenient to put limits on the other or simply walk away.
Power relations
Starting from pride, social relations are perceived as struggles for power. One is above and the other below. Therefore, the highest priority is to feel and show yourself superior. A proud child will likely be proud, will always want to be right, and will not listen to others’ views.
She will see her relationships with family and friends as a kind of battle in which she will always be ready to defend herself. Pride will be, at the same time, her shield and her sword and, therefore, she will not hesitate to utter offensive words to emerge victorious. Also, she is likely to be more susceptible and generally feel attacked more often.
On the contrary, a child with self-respect has learned to love himself and, therefore, to love others. She will see relationships as a positive and pleasant exchange and will be able to see the gentler side of people. Also, she won’t feel the need to be above, but she won’t feel inferior to others either.
She will have understood that we are all valuable, both she and others. Therefore, you will be kind and empathetic to those around you, but you will also be able to express your opinion with respect but without fear. She will listen to the opinions of others, keeping in mind that hers is equally important.
Self esteem
Finally, while it may seem that proud people have higher self-esteem, in fact, it’s just the opposite. Pride is armor, a wall we build when we feel insecure. If we need to build a barrier, it’s because we feel others can attack us and because we perceive ourselves as fragile. Showing pride is a mask that hides inner fear.
A child who has developed healthy self-esteem feels reassured, knowing he is valuable, sufficient, and capable. She doesn’t have to look down on others to feel important, because she knows she is already important in her own right. Likewise, you don’t need to get into battles or arguments. She is not so vulnerable to the opinion of others, as her base of self-esteem is firm.
Self-love is the key point
Self-love is what really allows us to set healthy boundaries so that others don’t harm us, without the need to hurt them. So help your child to cultivate a strong and sincere love for himself. Remember that this is a task that requires perseverance, which must be worked on every day. However, this will undoubtedly help you to have a happier life and healthier relationships.
