Parental Alienation Syndrome
In a breakup, it is common to see couples who are concerned about financial or psychological factors. The attention of friends and family is centered on informal or legal fights for the rights of each part of the couple. Considering this balance of forces, parents can begin to see their children as potential allies in this dispute.
Therefore, it is not difficult to see parents who try to control and turn the little ones against the former partner or partner. The impact on children in these situations is called parental alienation syndrome. In this article, we will explain this situation further.
What is parental alienation?
It is a process that consists in encouraging the child to hate the father or mother without justification. When parental alienation syndrome occurs, the child contributes to the campaign to demoralize the parent, depending on who is the object of the alienation.
This situation leads the child to believe in the existence of certain unpleasant episodes between the responsible person they live with and the person responsible who “is not a guardian” when he is in the company of one or the other.
To achieve this, the responsible guardian insists on some negative events or ideas when talking to the child. The aim is for these events to be taken for granted. In this sense, this action brings resentment or distancing as a consequence. In addition, it also causes jealousy of the new family and distance when visiting.
Origins of parental alienation syndrome
In the event of a breakup, it’s natural for you to worry when your children come to visit your ex for the first time. If you are psychologically fragile, your anxiety may increase over time instead of decreasing and trigger a process of alienation.
The alienating culprit is often an overprotective person who can be very angry. Thus, he seeks revenge through his children. Thus, this person sees himself as a victim and tries to get revenge by making the children believe that the other is the one with all the faults in the world.
This father or mother is usually supported by family members. Undoubtedly, this contributes to the perception of what he says to be seen as true.
Stages of parental alienation syndrome
The parental alienation syndrome has three stages:
- Step light. Children live with the responsible person who is the object of alienation without major difficulties. Most difficult are the natural changes that occur after divorce.
- Middle step. The responsible alienating person starts to mention phrases or to show an aggressive behavior towards the responsible object of the alienation. False stories that belittle the person responsible for the alienation are used. These stories induce the child to harbor feelings of resentment, hatred and fear.
- Serious step. The child no longer needs the alienating parent to show hatred and fear towards the alienating parent. The relationship and visits become impossible or unbearable due to the child’s aggressiveness.
How to identify parental alienation?
The alienating guardian will try to sabotage the other guardian’s relationship with the children whenever he can. Thus, among the most common actions are:
- Refuse to pass phone calls to children.
- Schedule activities with the child during the period when the other parent should exercise their right to visit.
- Speak ill of the responsible object of the alienation.
- Mention negative facts, real or not.
All these attitudes are ways to make the child absorb the negativity and reach the point of taking any situation as real.
The separation is between the parents. Don’t include your kids in the fight.
Marital separation is usually a critical time in the life of anyone who goes through it. Certainly, the lack of communication with one of those responsible can cause anguish, pain and sadness.
However, it is important to remember that the children are not yours alone. Both guardians are parents. If your relationship doesn’t work anymore, it shouldn’t affect the little ones. Taking this aspect into account is very important because the psychological damage is immense for children.
If you think your child is a victim of parental alienation syndrome, remember that you can seek legal help. Likewise, you should also seek psychological help for yourself and your child. If you do not follow this last recommendation, your relationship with your child could suffer irreparable damage in the future.
