Learn To Say Goodbye To Your Child When You Go To Work
When you go to work without saying goodbye to your child, you leave him confused. He doesn’t understand how just now he was with Mom around and suddenly, as if by magic, she disappeared.
When our children are young and we need to leave the house, we often take advantage of a moment of their distraction to open the door and magically disappear.
We do this to prevent the child from seeing us leave and starting to cry. We even sometimes ask someone to distract her so we can leave before she notices.
However, this is a big mistake, as the ideal is to learn to say goodbye before leaving home. It will be difficult for your baby to let go of you in the first few years of life.
But after this phase, he will understand that your departure will be brief and that you will soon return home to continue taking care of him.
Saying goodbye is more than necessary
It is very likely that the baby will not like the idea of you leaving the house and will certainly cry at that point.
But this attitude is more than normal, it’s healthy, since he’s showing his feelings.
Don’t get carried away by crying! Or at least try not to get carried away.
The idea is to gradually try different ways to say goodbye until you find the most suitable for your child, one that makes him understand that, even if you leave, you’ll be back soon.
When you get into the goodbye habit, your child can associate that you’re going to leave but that you’ll be back soon. This way, you will be able to prevent the baby from staying at home crying.
Usually, in any situation of separation from Mom, children cry desperately.
If your child cries every time you leave him in someone else’s care, you’ll feel so bad that you’ll even prefer not to be parted from him. But that way we only make the situation worse.
Gradually and with patience, you need to get him used to staying away from you.
And even though you don’t believe it right now, the time to say goodbye will also become less distressing for you, as you’ll be able to leave the house knowing you didn’t need to use any tricks to deceive your little one.
The farewell is a ritual
Try not to be distressed by the “suffering” of the little one. Understand that crying at this time is part of a natural phase of development. A phase that most children need to go through.
Don’t think it’s going to be like this all your life either. One day, all of a sudden, your little one will let go of you and will be delighted to meet new people. The idea is for this to happen naturally, without representing a trauma for the child.
It is also positive to try to make the child spend some time with other people in the family, such as grandparents, uncles, friends, every day. This process will be less dramatic if you are also present at the beginning.
Once your child starts trusting other people and having fun with them, it will be easier to be without you. You’ll also remember the good times you’ve had with these other people.
The child should not only get used to being with other people, but also to being alone. So the next step to make that happen is for you not to be there.
Leave her in her crib with some toys and leave the room for a while. But, of course, stay close in case something happens or the child starts crying.
At first she will cry a little. But you’ll end up finding your toys and getting distracted. You will see how your child will quickly start playing with them.
Mom, even if it’s hard, say goodbye!
Put a smile on your face. Your little one cannot see you distressed or worried about his reaction.
And above all, don’t go back. Even if you hear him cry, go ahead and don’t prolong the goodbye.
Feel confident that you are leaving your child in good hands. Nothing bad will happen to him.
Try to set boundaries and let the child understand that you need to leave them alone for a few moments. For example, when you go to shower or cook.
Never cheat!
And, above all, never sneak out, or lie and say you’ll come back right away if you can’t keep that promise.
By acting in this way, you will only make your child distrust you and live in anguish over your absence.
Many mothers usually leave the house hidden from their children so that they do not suffer when they see them leaving. But this attitude is not positive for children.
On these occasions, it is good to explain to the child, no matter how old he is, that the mother is going out, for example, to work and say “bye”.
Otherwise the situation will be confusing for the child. She can interpret that Mom is gone for good, disappeared, or no longer exists.
This is because children do not yet have the mental capacity to understand that you are somewhere else. So, it is necessary to teach them to understand this.
A really cool game is one where mommy hides her face and asks: “where’s mommy?”. It’s a simple game, but it can serve to symbolize absence.
The baby understands the intent of the things that are said to him, as well as the tone of voice and the feeling conveyed, even if he cannot put it into words.
That’s why it’s important to talk calmly, explaining that you’re leaving, but also that you’re coming back.
Little by little, your child will understand how this situation works and the separation becomes less traumatic.
