I’ll Teach You To Value Yourself, My Son, Because You’re The Most Beautiful Thing In This World
I will teach you to value yourself, my son. I will teach you humility, my son, but I will also teach you the greatness of hearts that know how to respect themselves.
This message, this idea is something that all of us as mothers, fathers and educators tend to keep in mind.
However, as Wayne Dyer explained to us in the book “Your Weaknesses” , when a person loves themselves enough, someone’s disapproval is not a worrying or frightening thing.
As adults, we know this very well. However, this is not the case for children.
Thus, a upbringing and an education in which the disapproval and criticism that we sometimes direct to children are present, thinking that in this way we are “teaching how life is” , will result, in the short and long term, in the construction of a weak self-esteem.
In addition, a perception of itself may develop that is so lacking in emotional nourishment that when that child is an adult, it will live dependent on whatever other people say.
Beyond what we might think, it is not easy to encourage a positive self-concept or a strong and healthy self-worth that every child should start building from an early age.
And it’s not for a very simple reason: if Mom and Dad don’t value each other, they sow weaknesses and insecurities in the hearts of their little ones.
Today, in Sou Mama, we’re going to present some key points to reflect on.
I will teach you to value yourself, I will take care of myself as a person to convey my strengths
One thing that we undoubtedly comment on in many situations in this space is investing in your well-being, your emotional health and your personal growth.
If you are happy, you will convey happiness. If you know how to transmit happiness, you will give the world strong men and women.
The task and commitment are worth it. Therefore, we propose that you consider the following ideas.
Teaching self-worth through play
Symbolic play is a great strategy through which you can begin to introduce child-appropriate values and psychological strategies.
So, a playful and simple way to achieve this is through dolls, whether stuffed or the classic Lego dolls.
You can recreate stories: “At school, Carlos is told he is ugly and stupid”, “What would you say to help him? ”, “If you were Carlos… what would you think?, how would you react?, would you believe that you are really stupid just because another child spoke?”
Correct through positive reinforcement
Knowing how to correct our children is an art that not all dads and moms know how to perform.
We should never reproduce the typical situation of “you’ve already broken one more thing, you’re the worst child in the world”, “you didn’t pass the test because it’s obviously not good for studying math, your brother is more diligent than you” .
- Positive reinforcement in correction is based on knowing how to indicate to the child that he/she has made a mistake and how he/she could do better next time.
- In positive reinforcement, comparisons are never made.
- In turn, this technique is also based on knowing how to convey to the child self-confidence: “I know you made a mistake, but the mother trusts you and knows that next time you will do well” .
Avoid unbelievable or exaggerated compliments
One thing we should know is that often certain words, phrases and adjectives, which are apparently positive, do not end up being useful when working on self-esteem.
Expressions such as “you are the most beautiful”, “you are the smartest child in the world” or compliments that are limited to the child’s image are really useless for little ones.
The enriching reinforcement, the one that favors self-esteem and helps the little ones to value themselves positively, needs to be sincere, logical, appropriate and, above all, real.
Therefore, it is essential that you personalize the compliments: “you are a responsible child and I love that you are like that, I know you will achieve what you set out to do because you know how to make an effort, even if you sometimes make mistakes. Mom will be here to help if you need it”.
Be objective in your opinions and make them useful: “I liked the design, but I think this other color would have been better. And you, what do you think?”
I will teach you to value yourself through autonomy and responsibility
To stimulate self-esteem, it is vital that children have responsibilities and that they learn little by little to be autonomous. That way, you will feel proud of your achievements, your capabilities.
However, autonomy will always be related to abilities and how the child shows us that he/she is able to effectively assume certain responsibilities.
The little ones demonstrate this to us over time, in the course of which we will be skilled facilitators, wise parents who know how to offer wings so that they can fly, but always building deep roots.
