How To Talk To An Angry Child
Talking to an irritated child is almost never an easy task. There is usually an outburst of anger where it is impossible to negotiate, argue, or explain. Anger prevents the child from listening to what you are trying to say. What to do in these cases?
Tips for Talking to an Angry Child
Talking to an irritated child can be very difficult because parents don’t know how to react at this point. The common thing is that if the child gets angry and starts to cry and even throws something, the parents lose patience, scream or punish them severely.
Before getting carried away by the anger of the moment, parents should pay attention to some advice given by the best experts in positive discipline so that the relationship with the child does not deteriorate and there is good communication.
1 – Avoid abuse
When children give vent to tantrums, parents tend to resort to belts, shouting, punishment, or an authoritarian tone that can be the beginning of a break in the family relationship. It turns out that children are skilled and have the ability to understand very well what you are trying to say.
Therefore, it is recommended to always instill in the child values such as respect and always treat them with affection. Of course, this does not mean that you should not discipline them, which is also a fundamental part of their training.
Some people think that belts or physical punishment are mandatory in a child’s education or that discipline means resorting to spanking to make the child understand that what he did is not correct, but nothing further from reality.
2 – Caring emotionally
In childhood, children’s emotions are at the surface. So, of course, they don’t have the self-control that most adults do. Because of this, they express their anger or frustration over and over again and usually throw themselves on the ground, kick or scream.
Well, it is the father or mother who should set the example of controlling themselves and not exploding with anger so as not to react abruptly, as this can affect children emotionally and create trauma in the future.
3 – Set the example
It is a serious mistake to think that yelling constantly will help children to control their emotions at these times. Parents should be the first to manage anger because by making violent gestures they are setting a bad example for children.
They are in full training phase. Thus, observing your parents’ behavior can leave a deep impression that will cause them to imitate you in times of stress.
If instead of shouting you say something like: “Lower your voice, please, I can’t understand, can you speak without shouting and that way we’ll solve the problem?” Doing so will relieve the tension of the moment and help you to reason easily with your child.
4 – Listen
If the child is trying to talk about what has upset him, he may be doing it by screaming or in tears, which can cause some despair. However, remaining calm and lowering your tone by quietly asking her to explain what is going on will create an enabling environment in which she feels she is being heard and understood.
If you do it this way, the anger will subside as solutions to the discomfort are offered . It is necessary to avoid ignoring or answering the child in a sarcastic way, besides showing affection and interest. This will allow the child to respond positively.
5 – Dedramatize the situation
The previous point does not mean that it is necessary to give in to all the whims and annoyances of the child. There is a balance point. If the child is often irritated by unimportant things, it is not necessary to give him reason every time. Always try not to brag about something of little importance.
6 – Stop aggressiveness
If the child starts hitting and completely loses his temper, it may be more difficult to talk to the angry child. In this case, it is recommended to hold the child’s arms and look him in the eye, calmly saying that this type of behavior is not allowed in your home. You must be firm and forceful when doing this.
7 – Take a deep breath
When the child does not want to do what is asked, instead of responding and screaming, it is best to step back for a second and calmly return.
It is recommended to use positive discipline, for example: “Okay, you have decided that you are not going to collect your toys, so the decision is that you will not be able to play with them tomorrow”.
8 – Talk calmly
Lovingly explaining that you understand what the child is feeling in the moment is a good way to relieve tension. You must say that parents sometimes also get angry and feel drained. But that yelling or hitting will not help reasoning.
Talking to an irritated child with affection will calm the tempers. Even giving a caress, a cuddle, a hug or a sweet gesture will help to soothe her. Maybe she’s just trying to get attention right now because she wants affection.
Employing positive discipline is one of the best alternatives offered by specialists in family therapy. Always trying to find the best alternatives so that children understand the different situations of daily life.
