How To Get Kids To Do Something When They Don’t Want To?
Getting children to do something when they don’t want to can be a colossal task, especially when it comes to children who, when pressured, protest with a tantrum or rebellion.
Secrets to getting kids to do something when they don’t want to
don’t demand too much
If your child has already done or is doing something that takes a lot of work to do, say, for example, the math homework, don’t want him to study another subject right away. When he’s done with his math, propose a break before trying to resume his homework.
Demanding to continue right away will only wake up and increase your rebellion.
Combine the task he rejects with one he likes
If your 2-year-old doesn’t like brushing their teeth, combine that part of hygiene with an activity they enjoy. For example, watching cartoons.
Sit him in front of the TV and put on cartoons he likes while brushing his teeth. Stand beside him to help him remember how to brush. As he will be more focused on television, it won’t be that difficult.
make a pact with him
Making a pact with your child is allowing him something he wants if he does what you want. This pact must be a mutual agreement. Thus, neither party will be influenced or controlled by the other.
For example, your teenager wants to go out on weekend nights. You want him to do well on Friday’s test. The pact here is clear: “If you get a good grade, I’ll let you out for the weekend.”
This type of agreement creates a unique feeling of independence and autonomy in the child:
- I’m the owner of my life
- You are able to fulfill my wishes
- I have the power to decide for myself
Don’t force it. The child must do it willingly
Saying that you shouldn’t force or demand anything from your child, but waiting for them to do their homework or any other suggestions of their own will certainly make you laugh. But we guarantee you can achieve this. You simply need to link what you want him to do with the consequence he doesn’t like.
In that sense, let’s take an example from one of our readers so that you know how she got her teenager to put things away and clean his own room. We will call the mother Ana and her son Mario.
As we mentioned, for Ana, it was impossible to clean her son Mario’s room, simply because he didn’t want to. The boy liked having his belongings, he said, where he knew he would find them. So he kept the room in complete disarray.
In order not to use force and arouse her son’s rebellion, Ana made an irrefutable decision. All of Mario’s visits, including a half-girlfriend he had, when they walked in, were directed directly to his room.
Although some friends felt comfortable with the young man’s room, not all reacted the same way. So, just to make a better impression on his teammates, Mario started to keep his room a little tidier. He started making his bed, hanging his clothes in the closet, and in the end he didn’t clean it, but at least he let his mother in once a week to do the cleaning.
establish a routine
Routines help to resolve in a better way what we have difficulty doing. If your child doesn’t like to help clear the table, make it a habit, not just for him, but for all family members, to get up from the table with his plate, cutlery, and glass in hand.
Routines can start with simple tasks. But, little by little, you can intensify it until, eventually, your child learns to do everything without your having to ask.
