How To Avoid Jealousy When A Brother Arrives
When a new sibling comes into the family, jealousy can be a natural reaction. This is because the child may feel a threat of losing the parent’s love. However , little ones can learn a lot by competing for their parents’ love. But how to guide this learning to avoid jealousy when a brother arrives?
What can you do while waiting for another child?
The arrival of a new child brings many changes in the family. Older children may have wrong expectations when waiting for the baby. Therefore, it is necessary to prepare the child in advance. This can help to avoid jealousy when a sibling arrives.
The first thing is to tell the child that you are pregnant before he finds out from other people. Also, explain in advance that babies need a lot of care because they can’t fend for themselves. For that, you can show photos or videos of when it was very small, so that it is easier to understand.
Likewise, try to include the child in the preparations for the baby’s arrival. Some ideas are to show the ultrasounds or allow her to put her hand on her stomach and talk to her little brother.
Symptoms of jealousy before the arrival of a sibling
Although not all children show jealousy in the same way, some symptoms can be:
- Anger, anguish, insecurity, sadness. Such feelings can become somatic, such as headaches, insomnia, or dizziness.
- Complete rejection of the brother.
- The child may experience a regression phase and try to imitate the younger sibling. In this case, she returns to some behaviors that she had already abandoned, such as sucking her thumb.
- He tries to get attention at all costs, often despising his brother.
- It can show aggressive behavior, reaching verbal or even physical confrontation.
How to avoid jealousy when a brother arrives
Of course, there is no magic formula for avoiding jealousy when a sibling arrives. However, with the right tools, you can help children to properly channel this feeling. Here are some practical tips:
offer quality time
Set aside time to spend with the child and, above all, make sure it is quality time. This factor is very important so that she does not feel out of place with the arrival of the new baby.
Include the child in the collaboration
Involve the child in the care of the new sibling. Depending on age, you can assign tasks to the oldest child. That way you will make him feel that he is an important part of the family. However, if you don’t want to help, it’s better not to push.
teach to understand
Teach the importance of understanding. It is necessary for the child to learn to understand the feelings of others. So, show the advantages of being the eldest or the youngest child.
treat equally
Try to treat each child in a balanced way. Although love should be shared equally, in many cases you will need to be given special treatment. The attention required will depend on the age and personality of each one.
Ask other adults for collaboration
Remind your family and friends that they shouldn’t leave the oldest child behind. Otherwise, your effort and dedication may be wasted because of someone else close to the child.
teach how to share
Help the child to develop their individuality and respect each other. As they grow, children should know how to share space with their siblings.
6 Things You Should Not Do When Dealing With Jealousy
If you want to avoid jealousy when a new sibling arrives and want to foster family relationships, remember these tips:
don’t change the routine
Don’t change the routine your children had before the other baby was born. Too many changes at the same time can be difficult to assimilate. Make sure that, as far as possible, the new birth does not coincide with a change of house or school.
Don’t think the child doesn’t love the new sibling
Don’t think that jealousy is a sign that your child doesn’t love the new baby brother. In the vast majority of cases, little ones build very strong bonds with time and maturity.
avoid making comparisons
Never compare your kids. Some of your comments may seem like a simple observation, but the way you say it can have a strong impact on children.
Be careful with comments
Avoid sentences that reproach the child or misinterpret their actions. For example, saying “Stay away from the baby” or “Don’t touch her” can cause the older sibling to reject the younger one.
correct if necessary
Fix the bad behavior and don’t let it happen. Some children may want to get attention by belittling, ridiculing, and threatening their younger sibling. While you shouldn’t ignore your feelings, don’t give in when they misbehave.
In short, avoiding jealousy when a sibling arrives is practically impossible. However, with patience and care, you can help your child deal with these feelings. In this way, your children will learn to live together, accept their responsibilities and respect each other.
