Children’s Grades Won’t Determine Your Success
If you’re a mom, your kids’ grades are probably one of the issues you’re most concerned about. At the end of each school stage, comes the dreaded assessment and, with it, grades. Mere numbers that seem to determine a child’s worth, whether he is smart and adequate, or whether he will be successful in the future.
However, this rating system is not only obsolete, it can sometimes be harmful and even cruel to children.
In our societies, we have been used to evaluating students through a number system for hundreds of years. When the grades obtained are not as expected, parents become very concerned, children feel inadequate, and the family system faces great friction and conflicts.
However, children’s grades will not determine their future success. So it’s time to start understanding what these numbers really mean.
What are the grades based on?
We believe that grades inform us about our children’s intelligence, their abilities and their intellectual level. We think that they communicate to us the effort made by the child, the attention they received and their willingness to learn.
From these numerical data we deduce whether a child is of value, whether he is suitable and successful. We feel pride, shame, or anger, and we reward or punish accordingly. But can we really get all this information from a single number? The answer to that question is clearly no.
The child receives a grade according to their performance on one or more written tests. These tests generally not only skip all kinds of hands-on learning, they also place a high value on memorization.
That is, a child capable of retaining precise data in memory and “vomiting” them on the exam will get high marks, even if they don’t understand what they’re writing and forget everything the next day.
Exams do not assess actual understanding of the material or meaningful learning achieved. They also do not take into account the child’s effort, interest or attitude. They only value a punctual and specific result, excluding the process.
Furthermore, they completely ignore individual differences between children. They all need to fit the mold being judged, otherwise they will literally be labeled insufficient.
Children’s grades will not determine your success
For all these reasons, it is important to make it clear that the children’s grades will not determine their success. First, because they are not a reliable measure of intelligence, ability or attitude.
A child can be very capable, curious, skillful and competent, but this may not be reflected in their grades. A child may have a willingness to learn and a great deal of perseverance, but still get low grades.
However, beyond that, grades are not determinative because what they measure is not what is really relevant for success in adult life. In the real world, the ability to memorize is of little use, while other skills, such as social skills, creativity or self-confidence, are really valued aspects.
Adapting to the mold during the school years can even be a handicap to dealing with adult reality. Furthermore, it has been proven that students with less success in school have certain advantages for becoming famous entrepreneurs. After all, while school rewards those who adapt, life rewards those who take risks.
Focus on process
Therefore, in relation to your child’s education, try to keep the focus on the process and not on the results. Be sure to instill your curiosity to learn and the development of your critical thinking, as well as your perseverance and responsibility.
Of course, you should encourage him to work hard and overcome school challenges, but keep in mind that grades are just a number, something that doesn’t define your child as a person and won’t determine your success.
Fortunately, more appropriate and diversified pedagogies and assessment methods are beginning to emerge . But in the meantime, let’s stop labeling our children with such decontextualized data.
