Children’s Fear Of Being Alone
From a very early age, emotions surface and are part of us for life. They give us the tools we need to solve the problems that come our way.
So today we’re going to focus on children’s fear of being alone. A feeling that, whether real or imagined, allows us to avoid danger and act with caution.
When does children’s fear of being alone show up?
Primary emotions are innate. Fear is an emotion that, although complicated in the first instance, is necessary for survival and is gained from direct experience.
The main reason for this statement is that it allows you to be safe in extreme risky situations that arise in life. The feeling of terror varies depending on the child’s age and personality, some are more likely to be more fearful than others.
Typically, this fear of being alone often appears in children between 2 and 4 years of age. This fear appears associated with another type of fear, such as fear of animals, masks, darkness or fantasies, among others.
However, this fear, which arises naturally, gradually disappears over the years. Children start to try to feel older when they see that they are able to do things on their own.
How to help children when they are very afraid of being alone?
When the fear of being alone proliferates in children, it is necessary to try to help them so that they learn to enjoy solitude. That is, show them, in a progressive way, a way to face moments alone, but for short periods of time at the beginning.
These are some of the advices proposed to be able to put aside this fear that invades the minds of some children :
- Start playing alone in the room, without our continuous presence.
- Allow them to perform some tasks unaccompanied. Simple things like going out to buy bread or going to school. As long as we make it clear to them that they are supported by someone else.
- Tell them about the new experience they will face. For example, through a story.
- Ask and talk to the child about what concerns them.
- Teach children to be the owners of their emotions, that is, to properly control their emotions.
- Don’t let them run away from the situation that causes them fear. This can cause anxiety and anguish.
- Don’t underestimate the importance of what they feel. It is necessary to make it clear that we cannot prevent certain emotions from coming to the surface. All human beings have the right to show what happens to us, including fear.
How do children react when they are afraid?
When they are still babies, they may react with startles or cries. Then, in addition to crying, children try to avoid the source of fear at all costs and seek the company of an adult who will protect them.
Sometimes they just go through some change in their usual behavior. For example, they may show some regression in their habits, returning to bed-wetting or thumb-sucking when they have already left those habits behind.
Fears are not a major concern. But if they are so intense and persistent that they have a negative impact on the child’s development, daily life or studies, and the family, despite efforts, does not know how to deal with the situation, it would be convenient to look for a professional.
Children’s fear of being alone can be tricky to overcome when they are strongly attached to someone. When a person realizes that he has to work things out on his own, with no one to support him or show him the steps to take, he will learn that he is capable.
If she always has someone to do things for her, she can be forever settled in waiting for other people to solve her problems.
However, this can also be enriching for children. For, as the fear fades, this feeling turns into strength. It is a feeling that will provide the necessary resources to face whatever the person proposes to do.
