Childhood Emotional Wounds
The emotional wounds of childhood persist into adulthood as if people have just been through the situation in question. Whenever a child learns to behave, react, feel and think in a specific way it is difficult to change his attitude when he becomes an adult.
The seven most common emotional wounds
The fear of rejection
It doesn’t matter whether this fear is substantiated or not, it is based on the fear of social rejection, of losing the protection of the attachment figure, among other factors.
separation anxiety
The fear of being separated from their parents and the feeling of being alone and abandoned during childhood transform a child into a fearful, shy adult, always lacking in affection and, therefore, insecure and submissive.
the humiliation
When a child is humiliated in both family and social circles, when his relatives or peers minimize his qualities and make jokes about him, criticize and reproach him, he is likely to become a shy human being, as well as intolerant and violent.
the injustice
Being the victim of unfair demands or incoherent reprimands leaves a child insecure, suspicious of everything and everyone. In adulthood, you can become pessimistic and negative. Someone who will also be overly critical of the people around him.
the betrayal
When adults don’t keep their promises and a child’s expectations don’t come true, they can become suspicious and unsociable.
lack of affection
We believe that lack of affection is one of the most damaging emotional wounds. Anyone who grows up devoid of affection is conditioned to be unhappy.
It is known that affection is as necessary as food, hygiene or health care. That’s because the brain, like the rest of the body, needs to be stimulated and provided with everything needed.
When children lack affection, they are more vulnerable to illnesses of all kinds. They also have delayed physical development, behavioral disturbances, suffer from stress and have difficulty relating.
Emotional abandonment
Emotional abandonment in childhood is another emotional wound that inevitably strikes into adulthood as if it were a genetic disease.
Men and women who were children deprived of closeness to their parents grow up feeling empty and unappreciated.
Emotional abandonment is something that occurs when parents become physically and spiritually distanced. Either because they don’t have time to spend with their children or because they don’t feel close to them.
This emotional wound is seen as a kind of child abuse. Like lack of affection, it is very difficult to cure once a person has grown up with it. Therefore, it is not uncommon for it to be a factor that leads to depression and chronic sadness.
How not to inflict emotional wounds on my child?
In order not to cause emotional wounds in your child, we can recommend:
- Spend more time creating it. So, pay attention directly whenever you can and don’t delegate your training to others.
- Talk about topics that interest your little one. Discuss points of view and try to resolve all your doubts
- Never compare it to others. If you want your child to behave like others and get a better grade on tests, for example, encourage him to study and research more about the subject.
- Help him face his fears and don’t minimize them.
- Reward, appreciate, highlight your qualities and celebrate your achievements. In this way, you will promote the child’s self-esteem.
- Talk to her and, if necessary, seek expert help to talk about more serious matters. For example, death in the family, parental divorce, shyness. Or, in case of adoption, about the truth of its origin, among other forms of assistance.
Here are some tips that can be applied in any situation or family nucleus . However, it is in the hands of each family to raise their children in the best way so as not to cause emotional wounds.