Characteristics Of Children With Disorganized Attachment

Find out what children with disorganized attachment are like below. You will find that there are many more cases than you think.

Unfortunately, there is a high percentage of children who are or have been victims of abuse. Traumas and chronic stress resulting from such situations lead them to develop a dysfunctional behavior that is known as disorganized attachment.

It is characterized by a chronic and intense fear that causes the child to avoid relating to parents or caregivers and also to resist remaining in the presence of these people. Therefore, when they are forced to be with such people, they feel confused and dizzy.

Disorganized attachment, as its name indicates, is a consequence of traumatic experiences of great intensity for the child, which “disorganizes” their social development and leaves them vulnerable.

Characteristics of children with disorganized attachment

Children with disorganized attachment have difficulties in controlling their emotions, as well as in relating to other people, including their own age.

1. They present discordant behavior most of the time. This means that the child is able to seek physical contact and then avoid it altogether.
2. They express themselves in a disorderly and redundant way when talking about the same topic.
3. Children with disorganized attachment may manifest anxiety about separating from their parents.
4. They have a tendency to move in an uncoordinated way and, in horror situations, can become completely paralyzed. That is, they are petrified.
5. Children with disorganized attachment are highly susceptible to the father figure, sometimes with accentuated physiognomic expressions.
6. They are often disconcerted, showing fuzzy speech.
7. They feel that their personal space is easily invaded.
8. Suffer from post-traumatic stress.
9. May develop associative, memory and attention disorders.
10. They are not interested in exploring the environment in which they live, they are full of uncertainty and fear paralyzes them when they have new experiences.
11. They tend to develop various fears and even phobias.
12. They remain in a state of hypervigilance because they feel that they must be permanently on the alert to run away from possible aggression.

With regard to the mother:

Incorrect Affections

Children with disorganized attachment manifest contradictions. For example, they might ask their mother for a hug and then ask her to back off.

In these situations, children are desperate because they are not sure what they want. For this reason, they are very concerned when they need to answer what they want.

disorientation

• The child with disorganized attachment feels confused or frightened by the mother’s behavior.
• She is disoriented in everything she does. That is, the child does not coordinate their actions.
• Disorientation occurs when the mother makes fun of the child or bothers him.

These children tend to be very fickle. That is why it is essential to be patient with them and treat them with affection and respect.

withdrawal in children

The mother creates a considerable affective distance between them. This is characteristic of parents of children with disorganized attachment.

When they feel incompetent, they prefer to distance themselves.  For example, the mother decides to always greet her child from a distance. Without approaching.

Random and Alternating Behaviors

Children with disorganized attachments can be very withdrawn, to the point of wanting to be invisible to the world. On the other hand, they can have outbursts of anger.

It must be remembered that their behaviors are random and ill-suited to the circumstances. They don’t know how to get affection and this leads them to express themselves in various ways.

self-stimulation

Children with disorganized attachment resort to self-stimulation through punches or head movements. The reason for this? With these movements, they unconsciously seek to reduce psychological pain.

Over time, they even create their own defense mechanism. They work hard to hide the painful memories so that only the positive memories they have of their parents come to the surface. These memories, in most cases, are idealized.

Don’t ask parents for help

Children with disorganized attachments don’t ask for help from their parents when they have a problem because they don’t feel comfortable doing it. This attitude can lead them to cry in hiding, to wander aimlessly, far from their parents, their problems and themselves.

These children need professional help to be able to develop a healthy bond with their parents or caregivers, depending on the specific case.