6 Tips For Chatting With A Teen

It is normal for young people to be more closed and even refuse to talk to their parents about certain things. However, you must always be open to their questions and willing to help.

Adolescence is a complicated age. It is a stage of changes that affect not only the visual aspect of a young person, but also the emotional aspect. Talking to a teenager can become very difficult at this stage in their lives.

Parents of 12 to 20 year olds can face a huge challenge when it comes to communicating with their children.

At this age, the teenager’s interest is usually centered on himself and his independence. Parents, in turn, often represent a source of conflict, discussion and repression of freedom.

However, we all know that the absolute goal of parents is to bring happiness to their children. For this, dialogue is an essential issue, although it can be extremely challenging and complex to establish a calm and confident relationship with a young person of this age.

To find out how to deal with this, we have some tips for talking to a teenager that can be very helpful.

6 tips for talking to a teenager

Despite the difficulties that may exist when talking to a teenager, parents must be patient and not give up.

After all, conversation is the best tool to connect and build a bond with your kids. So, these recommendations can be useful to accomplish this:

1. Don’t force the situation

The conversation shouldn’t just happen when the parents want it. On the contrary, it should happen when young people need it. Don’t pressure your child to sit down, talk, and share their problems.

The best you can do is to be open, understanding and available. Empathy will also be of great help. Don’t bother, say that you’ve also been through similar situations and that your experience can be helpful.

2. Listen carefully

Interestingly, the second tip for talking to a teenager has to do with listening instead of talking.

Often, talking to a teenager ends up in parenting monologues or sermons that are irrelevant to young people.  In fact, that won’t get anywhere, it will only create more revulsion.

The mission of parents is just the opposite. Address their concerns and, if the young person asks, comment on your opinion. Try to act practically as you would like a friend to do, but of course, without leaving the role of mother or father. If at any point you need to set limits, don’t hesitate.

3. Build a trusting relationship

Along with the confidentiality that the young person may ask for, they will see you as someone they can trust. For example, if he tells you about a serious problem he’s having, it’s best to console him first and help fix it later.

Once this is done, you can warn, punish or point out what you did wrong. Think: what would be the result if you did it in the opposite order? Surely your child would never tell you about the problems again.

4. Ask again

A very effective communication tactic is to ask the question again. For example, saying: “You mean that what happens is that…?”. However, be careful: don’t ask questions with reproach or suspicion, but with complete honesty.

In addition to showing attention and interest, this tactic is a way to ease tensions and give some time to think things through from another perspective. You can even convey a little peace of mind so that he feels more comfortable and talk a little more about your problems.

5. Try to bring serenity to the conversation

Nothing good can come out of a conversation where shouting and high pitch prevail. So always try to bring calm and reason to the dialogue. Probably the young person will already be moved by impulses and emotion.

6. The answer

We’ve already seen the recommendations on how to listen. However, how should we respond? The first thing we must keep in mind is that, as much as we want to gain the confidence of young people, we also need to show the best way and educate.

So consider negotiating certain things and sticking with others. Less important things, in turn, can be ignored. Making trouble for everything is not going to do any good in this relationship.

Also, try to look for the positive side of each event. Remember that at this age a person tends to be dramatic and negative. So don’t be scared if you see your child a little closed off, he’s just learning to build his identity.

Finally, always keep in mind that your mindset is not the same as his. Try to put yourself in their shoes and also think about how difficult it is to open up and tell mom or dad things. Don’t miss the opportunity to help him!