3 Steps To Stop Yelling At Your Kids
If you’re reading this article right now because you want to stop yelling at your kids, maybe it means that over the years you’ve followed the pattern you’ve so wanted to break out of.
Do not feel bad. You would be frightened by the number of people who, without realizing it, are mistreating their children. They care about the welfare of the little ones, but they forget about their feelings. That’s when the screams and the struggle for power with children begin.
Here are the steps that will help you stop yelling at your kids:
Step 1. Self-Assessment
Our minds are full of emotions that come and go in response to what we feel and experience. Some parents are easily angry, others are very fearful. This will depend on your personality and all the emotional charge you have acquired in your life. Every emotion is a product of the wounds, disappointments and struggles that take place in our lives.
To stop yelling at your kids, the first thing you must do is identify what triggers your anger. Perhaps you are reflecting on some experience you have with them. But you must remember that your children are not to blame. Casting your fears, angers, and frustrations into them is the main problem. Instead, try to stay calm and talk kindly to your kids.
Step 2. Apply Logic to Emotions
Most of the time, you don’t yell at your kids because they really did something wrong. You scream for factors outside of them. The good news is that once these factors are identified, working to control them is easier.
This makes more sense than you think. What happens to your emotions will make you resort to logic or not. Imagine that your brain has two important divisions, one at the top and one at the bottom.
The upper division is controlled by logic and takes care of practical information. The bottom division is that of emotions and is in charge of receiving and processing your feelings.
When things are calm in the lower division, the work of the upper division is also calm. That is, if emotions are under control, logic will be too.
But if the lower division changes, alarms sound. The logic part destabilizes and things start to fall apart in a desperate attempt to put out the flames. That’s when you start to get carried away by emotions. So, you don’t think and start verbally attacking your children.
If you decide to stop yelling at your kids, you won’t need to repair any damage in the future. But if you stop too late, someone will get hurt. It will probably be your children.
Step 3. Learn to control yourself
At this point, you must work so that your rational side dominates the pure emotions. This can only be achieved through practice. But you should know that the most common emotions that make you scream at your kids are:
- Irritation
- Frustration
- Fear
- Sadness
- Fault
Your job as a mother will be to learn to master the moments when you explode. Some good strategies are:
- Read about the factors that cause you to lose control and learn to deal with them.
- Try to avoid situations that cause you to yell at your kids. It’s not about dodging problems, it’s about taking time to breathe and regain control and calm.
- Talk to your kids and explain what makes you uncomfortable and why. This is the simplest solution. If you’re too upset that your child doesn’t mind when you talk, you end up thinking it’s grudgingly. After explaining to your child exactly what is bothering you, you may see a change in his attitude.
- Demonstrate by example. They say that actions speak louder than words. That way, your children will respond according to how you treat them. Don’t you want to be ignored by your kids? So don’t ignore them.
The most important step to stop yelling at your kids is to develop and maintain communication.
